Wow, May’s uncharacteristic darkness and rain surely made routine appearances. Thankfully, it also lifted us out of the drought zone before the heat of the summer, so I look at it as a win- a win for our plants, our trees, and the animals that rely on the rain to replenish brooks, rivers, vernal pools, and bodies of water. It wasn’t so much a win for our basement, but boy is the floor clean. Flooding areas is not a win, either (just look at my driveway!). Perspective changes what otherwise would be a complete drag.
We own no power over this, so why fight it?
A hot pink peony about to emerge is perfect to balance the darkness above (no pic due to a downpour at the moment), and owning plenty of house lamps enlivens the cave like atmosphere.
Plants, animals, trees, provide the backdrop to joy, even while the rain thunders upon our metal ladder out back, in mud puddles where the pool once stood, into the patio umbrella that remains closed. The grass and weeds grow rapidly. Our night-lights illuminate the afternoon gloom, but the birds do sing on.
It is no secret to any sensitive soul that modifying our perspectives takes work, and being someone who may not necessarily appear to have done a lot of self work, especially the past year plus, seeing the sunny side of life is not an easy task, and a task it certainly is for some. Past posts show the progress.
Luckily, nature was on my side for just the right gene combination to tilt to the light since I was an unruly and mouthy child in the environment I lived in, always in trouble for speaking up and out. The dirt became my solace; it still is. Teaching also granted me the priceless gift of learning how to roll with the tide of teenage and adult behaviors every single day. You either rise to it or crumble.
A favorite quote I hold dear is by humorist Herm Albright, and I’m sure I’ve shared it before on any blog post, “a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” I told this to my students often.
Being open to the joys of life is not a weakness; it’s a necessity if you seek change.
People who are positive, in a healthy manner (not toxic positivity – look it up if you wish), mostly have come from a place resembling this weather, one of darkness, uncertainty, and discomfort. There’s no shame when people are unhappy, frustrated, and sick of the way their world runs. It’s okay to feel it, as Eckhart Tolle reminds us that challenges make us grow. So, it’s also really okay to say it to process, but you cannot live there.
Cheer actually bothers people. “You’re too happy,” I’ve heard from colleagues and unhappy students throughout my entire career. I’ve had students try to break this part of me, and although frustrating and overall really sad on their part, it never worked because it couldn’t be undone; it’s within the sinew of my soul. To think of happiness as annoying is not in my wheelhouse, but perhaps it is to those who are in a place or may not have the nature for it. I fully understand that place, every inch of it, yet I admire joyful people. In hard times, I turned to them like a sunflower, basking in their beams of hope. I don’t look away because my heart isn’t where they are. It inspires me.
Another quote I have in my house is from a favorite author who genuinely cared about the plight of others. Mark Twain once said, “Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.” It’s such a simple, yet inspiring idea, to just be.
And because I lived in a darker place myself, and at times still do while I work on unlocking from the past, I use nature as my remedy. Meditations and reading great books (like Eckhart), and listening to powerful spiritual teachings (Eckhart for the win), help fill in the nooks and crannies of what I can learn to improve my chances of contentment, and inevitably, help my family a whole lot by doing so.
I’m changing the past family narrative one hurdle at a time so my children know they are enough as they are, right now. I know the danger of pushing children, as I’ve seen them break in the classroom from that pressure; it’s an ugly scene. Being kind, compassionate, and good to yourself are daily mantras, because these matter more than a GPA in life.
The better my mental health, the more I can show up for me and my family. Wellbeing acts as a web. One off day doesn’t ruin the carefully crafted system of love we’ve created because I know its fate, those vibrations, are in our hands. Without careful attention to how I take on this life, how I react to setbacks and disappointments, how I learn to grow through those challenges from the world, I think about what those moments teach my children.
And this is where I realize how the universe takes hold for our best interest, and the absolute worst thing to do is try and reason or control it. Making good choices, building a healthy world around you, and taking part in life through high vibration is enough. Anger, resentment, disdain, and blaming the world comes up as a big fat zero every single time if you leave them there.
Because of a history of anger throughout generations of my family, I did a deep read of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames. What genius lives there, like all of his work. His approach to anger is similar to helping a wounded child, meaning more reflection on who you are. The inner child work, essential to healing, is something people aren’t always comfortable with because it is uncomfortable. I highly recommend this for anyone who feels anger as a go to emotion or lives/work with people who do.
He writes: “When you look at a tree in a storm, you see that the top of the tree is very unstable and vulnerable. The wind can break the smaller branches at any time. But when you look down to the trunk of the tree, you have a different impression. You see that the tree is very solid and still, and you know that it will be able to withstand the storm. We are also like a tree. Our head is like the top of the tree during a tempest of a strong emotion, so we have to bring our attention down to the level of our navel. We begin to practice mindful breathing. We concentrate just on our breathing and on the rise and fall of our abdomen. It is a very important practice because it helps us to see that, although an emotion may be very strong, it will stay only for a while and then go; it cannot last forever. If you train yourself to practice like this during difficult times, you will survive these storms. You have to be aware that your emotion is just an emotion. It comes, stays for some time, and then goes away. Why should someone die because of an emotion? You are more than your emotions. It is important to remember this. During a crisis, when you breathe in and out, maintain the awareness that your emotion will go away if you continue to practice. After you have succeeded a few times, you will have confidence in yourself and in the practice. Let us not get caught by our thoughts and feelings. Let us bring our attention down to our belly and breathe in and out. This storm will go away, so don’t be afraid”.
This work challenges people to look inside, and it takes courage. Situations arise, however, that demand our attention and the choice to reflect and repair may not be optional. This is when our bodies make the choice for us. Unexpected illness, pain, dis-ease, addictions, wherever our journeys take us, we must go, but how we do it takes perspective, and when healing is called for, that looks different for everyone.
I’m grateful for the support in this world. Not everyone feels that way, I know, and I empathize deeply. There are many ways to look at people who have it together and criticize or judge, but you do not know what lies inside or the tremendous healing work they have done and continue to do to keep that peaceful life together. You do not see their losses; they are not defined by them because they see healed wounds as lessons, not stopping points.
When I listen to the rain now, relentless in its pouding upon the ground, I think of the effortless presence. Just pouring. And I can pour in despair with it, or I can stand here, tea or coffee in hand, appreciating the warmth of home, and wait for the rainbow if it comes today.
Here are some simple things to enjoy while we wait for summer:
Cardigans with pockets
Dog hugs
Random visits from bears (I included mine below)
Tea or any hot drink
Charlie Brown Christmas music (every single day); any Vince Guaraldi
Planning a garden
Looking out the window
Birds, bugs, and nature in general
Trees
The acrobatics of spiders
New books (or good old ones)
Gratitude lists
Volunteering
Cooking
Eating unshelled peanuts at a tv tray with your spouse
Thank you for reading this today. I’m grateful for my friends and family, and I’m happy to share what I am learning as I grow, which isn’t painless. Misery and suffering is around every corner if you look for it, but so is healing, and people doing wonderful work to make our world a better place, to end suffering, war, hunger, disease, and the list goes on. They are there without an audience, helping people, animals, and nature because it is right, and they can, and they know that by doing so, it heals bits inside, too.
Sharing journeys with people helps both you and those around you if they are open to hear what you have to say, but not everyone is, so thank you for honoring my journey. I recognize people choose to stay where they are perhaps because they do not know otherwise, they do not think they can change or that the world has given up on them. Start with a good book, lean upon a tree, and go from there:)
With love,
Shennen
My bear visitor one minute after I walked out of the woods after grounding…hello friend!
