I missed the November wagon of gratitude, however, I feel this is divinely timed.
I waited for the right moment, or moments, to find inspiration, when really, it’s around us every single day, though we may not feel that way, necessarily.
I like to write when moved, and I was over the last two months for sure. We lost our sweet horse, Annie, at the end of October, and I became busy in my head- never a great thing- until this time.
The holidays pose a challenge for many, whether family dynamics, finances, or all around empathically picking up on the spectrum of feelings of others through social media, or any media, and the vibe from the outside world. This year, we announced a break from hosting after a dozen years, which came from the heart and the love of doing something fresh, but also reminds us of who is not here to celebrate any longer and all the feelings that come with nostalgia. My grandmother’s push for presents for all, my uncle’s laughter… so much.
In essence, since Annie passed after a brief illness and plans changed, I felt a bit of loss, and that sense parked the car for months before. It’s no secret leaving the classroom was life changing in the sense that when I departed, I had a plan. When that plan did not work, I sat. I sat in the sun looking out a window I did not have for sixteen years at my last school. I sat and drank coffee with my dogs. I watched YouTube; I took classes online; I volunteered.
Ah, the volunteer part. I’ve been a part of the Arthur Miller Writing Studio for a while now, and the family feeling I have from those involved propelled me to keep the faith during this huge transition. I kept branching out, and opportunities are now opening up whenever I look because I’m not attaching an expectation to them.
Gratitude. Blessings. I never had the chance to volunteer before because teaching high school dominated my life for many good reasons, but now I realize how much I can offer outside of that because, well, I’m outside of it now. Doors do open when you’re ready, and despite me feeling as if I’ve been standing there staring at them to open, they did when it felt right.
One awesome glimmer of, dare I say, glittery happiness, came unexpectedly this week when I heard that Dalen Spratt and Scotty Davis were headed to The Shanley, yes, The Shanley Haunted Hotel in nearby New York, a wee two and a half hours away!
Immediately, plans formed, and my supportive and endlessly tolerant husband drove us west yesterday to meet Dalen Spratt of the Ghost Brothers, YouTube’s Graveyard Shift and Ghosted or Roasted, and Scotty Davis, the NJ Medium! Both amazing, generous, and wonderful human beings who entertained and welcomed us like old friends. We went for the meet and greet, not a sleepover since I can only sleep usually at home, and I’m a huge pain, admittedly.
I really believe in both Dalen’s and Scotty’s work because it’s all about the heart, so to be a part of this special event was really something. I never could see myself doing anything like this before, yet I felt I was meant to be there!
See, random glimmers, shimmers, glitter, whatever you wish arrive when you’re not looking! Prior to now, the warm and beautiful weeks of November were bound to end. Gone are the days of my warm sunshine filled mornings of feeding raptors at Sharon Audubon with my amazing partner, yet the sunshine did not vanish. Each week during our volunteer shift, laughter fills the aviaries, along with runny noses, and our joy emanates from all that we do, inspiring me to simply keep doing this – showing up.
So last night, I showed up! And what a great time it was for absolutely everyone there. From the staff at the hotel, to Dalen’s captivating stories about how he stepped into the paranormal world, to Scotty’s intuitive, kind, and generous readings, I felt not only a part of something so special, but seen.
And after a while of hiding from the world of disappointment through countless unanswered job applications, it is nice to feel a part of an experience so special to a group of people who came from all over for the same reason, a love of the unknown.
Who would have thought that the exact essence I was aiming to escape, the looming cloud of uncertainty I carried over my own head the past ten months, had an entirely new side to it? It was all about a shift in perspective. The unknown can be intimidating, but if you flip it around, it can be exhilarating.
This from a woman who does not fly on planes or walk on boardwalks because of the lack of control over space. I admit it all.
And now, as the Winter Solstice approaches, in New England we retreat only for a while into our warm corners, or if you love the outdoors, to ski outside in the cold or ice fish (a personal favorite). Hence, some turn in, others turn out, but what I do know is now I can see a brighter light from the darkness I was in, and I thank a room full of new friends at the Shanley and all of my volunteer families for this hope as well as my amazing Reiki teacher and dear friend, Amy, who rooted me on every step of the way. I’m so glad she was right. And of course, my supportive family 🙂
I say all of this as I was validated last night during our gallery read with Scotty. I won’t go into details because some parts of stories get lost when writing on a blog, but I will say a beautiful spirit came by loud and clear to let me know it was time to be seen and heard.
And now, I listen. Thank you for reading! Blessings!
Shennen
~ dedicated to my Annie~
